Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Hello, my Name is "Guilt"

There's a Christian song that plays on The Message a lot by Matthew West titled, "Hello, My Name Is."  Throughout the beginning of the song, West introduces himself by several names, including "Regret" and "Defeat." The song goes on to talk about how those names we give ourselves are lies that we've carried with us from our sinful past,  but we no longer need to carry our sin because it died on the cross with our Savior. The song then states, " Hello, my name is child of the One true King." 

If I could pick one name for the sin that keeps peeking itself up in my life, it would be "Guilt." As I've stated in previous posts, I try not to live with regret, for my life would not be what it is today without the choices I've made and the circumstances of my past. Certainly, I would NOT want to relive some of the difficult times and trauma of my past, but they lead me to be the Christ Follower I am today. There is one sin, however, that loves to peek it's head up in my conscience and that's Guilt. 

I can make myself feel guilty about many things! I fill myself with questions provoking that feeling of guilt. Am I good enough wife and mother? Would they love me more if I never left them for coffee with a friend or to get my hair done? Do my kids feel they can talk to me about anything? Would they be more open with me if I spilled my heart out with all of my mistakes? Was I a good representative of Christ at work? At the party? With my friends? The questions could go on forever. 

Lately, I've tormented myself with guilt because after 16 years of being a full time mother, I've started working again part time. I'm only at work while they're at school, but I still feel guilty wondering if it makes me more tired or stressed or if I'm not getting all their needs met because I'm busy working. My wonderful husband reminds me that they've already had me home all of their lives and I'm still here for them all the time. Still, the sin of guilt is close in my thoughts. 

Guilt is definitely not a Fruit of the Spirit and it can definitely be a sin. It's not my reality, rather it's what the enemy wants me to believe is my reality. Guilt CAN be a helpful signal to ourselves that whatever sin we're engaged in is wrong and it's time to change, confess, forgive, etc. For example, a while back, God pointed out something in my life that was leaving me with feelings of guilt. The issue wasn't a bid deal, but it was enough of an issue that it left me feeling guilty. God used that guilt to redirect my behavior. 

I am so thankful that, like the song says, "I am a child of the One true King." Christ's death on the cross wiped my sins clean. I don't need to live with guilt, I've been redeemed. The only regret in my life should be used by God to redirect my attention to Christ.