Help Me See Beyond Myself

It's natural to want to hear the physical voice of God while needing guidance.  A banner in the sky would be helpful too.  When I pray for direction or God's will for my life, I often struggle with deciphering what is my will and what is God's will because, let's face it, the two are rarely the same.

I have sensed for nearly a year now that I'm not living in the will of God, but I've been praying and working on aligning my life with His will.  Let me clarify that I'm not engaging in anything sinful, I just know He has something planned for me and I need to get myself aligned with Him.  I recently started a Bible reading plan of reading through the Bible in chronological order.  This morning I was reading from Genesis 17 about Abraham laughing at God when God told him he and Sarah would have a son at their old age.  I realized Abraham was so preoccupied with the world's reality that he couldn't see beyond himself and that God is capable of anything.  That's my problem too!  I can't see beyond myself and my capabilities to see God is working on the details that are impossible for me to accomplish without God.  Then, I caught myself wishing God would send an angel to speak to me the way He did many times in the Bible.  Once again, I realized I was looking at my own capabilities and not God's capabilities.  He's been speaking to me all week through other people.

Last weekend, I had a minor meltdown telling John I just don't know where God is leading me.  He's made it clear to me that He has a plan and small details of that plan, but I just can't figure out what I need to be doing.  I know for certain He wants to use the circumstances of my past to help others, but how?  John told me what he felt God was saying and it was exactly what I had been thinking.  I still couldn't figure out how that was going to lead me to what I felt He eventually has planned for me, though.  John told me that I don't need to know the details.  I just need to trust that God will give me direction when I need it.  Now here's where I'm reminded of God's sense of humor, the next day, John was talking to a friend and they asked him if I've ever considered.......... (I'm not ready to share yet)?  I think God's saying, "Do you hear Me now?"

So, once again, as I'm reading from Genesis this morning, God whispers to me that I need to see beyond myself and trust Him that He will lead me when I quit relying on myself.  He will reveal His plans one step at a time.