Attitude is Everything

Suffering is a part of life, it's unavoidable.  I, personally, believe "suffering" varies from person to person and what one person might deem "suffering," someone else may think is not.  Certainly, as we look back through history, there are many events in the world that most of us would label suffering: the Holocaust, slavery, Apartheid, war, the list goes on.  However, something happened last night that will forever change my attitude towards suffering.

John and I are part of a LifeGroup through our church.  It's basically a small group Bible Study that meets weekly.  We do life together, support each other in need and celebrate life together.  Last night during our study, the subject of suffering came up.  A male member of our group stated that he's never really felt like he's suffered much and that he's had a pretty good life.  Most of us in the group were surprised by his words and I finally spoke up and told him I was amazed by his response.  Let me fill you in a little bit about this man that will explain our surprise by his words.  He was born with a genetic disease that caused his legs to be twisted and unfunctionable.  At a very young age, both of his legs had to be amputated and he now walks with two prosthetic legs.  He and his wife had much trouble conceiving a child and through IVF, had a son five years ago.  Their son was born with the same genetic disease and in his five short years has had both legs amputated, open heart surgery and numerous other surgeries.  There were several times they nearly lost their son.  They have also been trying to adopt a child for several years.  Just two weeks ago, a young woman chose them to adopt her newborn daughter, but then changed her mind a few days after the baby was born.  From my point of view, this man has experienced some suffering in his life, but there he was, feeling blessed with a good life and with a firm belief that he has not suffered!

Someone else in our group spoke up and pointed out that his positive attitude is what keeps this man from suffering.  This man's life is a beautiful picture of how God can transform our hearts and minds to a positive attitude.  He certainly has a lot he could complain about, but he doesn't, instead his attitude is of goodness and gratefulness.  Truly, his attitude is everything!  He doesn't dwell on what he's lost or doesn't have, instead he focuses on all the good God has done in his life and counts it all as blessings.

The Apostle Paul is also a great example of attitude.  Paul certainly experienced a lot of suffering by the world's standards.  In 2 Corinthians, Paul lists many of the hardships he experienced: stoning, imprisonment, ship wrecked and so much more.  Yet, instead of complaining, he boasts in the name of the Lord for God has carried him through and used those circumstances to show the power of God's love. 

I, for one, have changed my attitude about suffering.  It's all in the attitude.  I can choose to "suffer" or I can chose to be grateful.  I choose gratefulness!

Gratitude

Twice now The Lord has sent me to a foreign land and I've seen with my eyes how little people have. Some might even say the living conditions are "barbaric." Yet, I still struggle with wanting more. It's easy for me to be filled with gratitude for all God has given me when I'm in a third world country where people have so little, but it's another thing to live in gratitude and contentment when I'm back home surrounded by such opulence.

I've been blessed in my life, never knowing what it's like to feel hunger because there is no food or to be cold because I don't have a roof over my head.  By American standards, my parents weren't rich, but they certainly did well and we lived in a beautiful home in a nice neighborhood.  Although it wasn't a luxury car, I received my own car from my parents when I started driving.  There were always plenty of presents under the tree at Christmas and birthday gifts and parties were never denied to me.  My parents were able to pay for my college without leaving me with school loans.  Once I was married and no longer under the support of my parents, I continued to live a life without need. 

"Need" is the key word!  I've never known what it's like to live in need, rather I've only lived in want.  In our society, there are constant reminders of what we don't have.  There's always better cars on the road, more glamorous houses than mine, designer handbags on the arms of other women and electronic devices much finer that what I own.  It's easy to forget all that I have and get caught up in what I don't have.  That's where I struggle with sin. 

Over the last few years, God has opened my eyes to this sin in my life.  I don't think wanting nice things is a sin in itself, in my life, it becomes a sin when I want so much more that it distracts me from keeping my eyes on God and finding contentment and joy in all He has provided.  I have seen the most faithful Christians fall because of money.  I've known people that drifted away from God once their finances improved.  I've watched them struggle with greed as they desire to attain more and more money.  It's a tough thing to watch a friend walk on the path of wanting more money, while walking further away from Christ. 

I pray praises of gratitude every day for all God has given me and I'm never too proud to think that at any moment, I could lose it all.  Although a difficult prayer to pray, I ask the Lord daily to never let me have so much money that I lose sight of Him and His plans for my life.  It truly is a difficult prayer as I can easily become distracted by all there is around me that I don't have.  When I keep my eyes on God, I'm never in need.  If a luxury car, a bigger house, a better wardrobe or the latest in electronics turn my worship to "stuff" and not God, then I don't want it!

I have so much to be grateful for in my life.  Besides the material possessions, I have a husband who loves me, amazing daughters and Christ, who shed His blood on a cross so that I can have eternal life with Him.  I need nothing more!

Real or Not?

Disclaimer:  It is not my intent to offend or criticize anyone with the procedures discussed in this blog post.  I am not against any of the listed procedures or look down on anyone who has undertaken them.  

It's no wonder why so many girls (and some boys) have so many body issues. Whether I'm at the beach, reading a magazine, watching tv or walking around town, I've observed so many women that most would consider to be perfect beauty.  I've often wondered if such true outer beauty and "perfection" is truly possible.  I've known for years that pictures in print should not be considered to be realistic.  After all, those women are airbrushed and Photoshopped to perfection.  Basically, they're not "real."

I've come to realize though, that in our current times of plastic surgery and fake everything, outer beauty really is more of a creation than reality for a good chunk of the American population.  Just about any procedure is available if you're willing to pay for it.  Breasts can be enhanced, tummy's tucked, cheek bones implanted, eyes lifted, cellulite removed, implants to the butt, etc.  The perfect body can be created by a surgeon.  To go even further, much more can be faked with hair extensions, color contacts, manicures, tattoo makeup and even eye lash extensions.  Botox and facelifts, can make one look 20 years younger.  Make-up can hide just about anything and/or enhance facial features, sometimes turning someone into a completely different looking person.  All you have to do is pick up a magazine containing "Stars Without Make-Up" to prove this point.  To find a "true natural beauty" is nearly impossible anymore.

After having my daughters, I'd look at pictures of celebrities who also just had babies that already looked like they did pre-baby.  I'm sure I could have looked like that too if I had money to pay for a private chef to create healthy, yummy meals and personal trainers to whip my body right back into shape.  They all have nannies to watch their children while they workout and get up in the middle of the night so mom can be well rested and have the energy to exercise for 3 hours each day.  They don't have to experience the sleep deprived, zombie-like state that the average new mother experiences, eating junk food that comes in boxes and bags in between naps, nursing and diaper changes.  I remember feeling like a successful day was a day that I got a shower and brushed my teeth twice.

Just about everything is fixable!  My thin, slow-growing hair can be corrected with hair extensions.  My scars from childbirth can be corrected with a laser or tummy tuck.  Just about anything I want changed can be done, but at what cost?  Even elementary aged girls are taking part in all that is available to them.  Girls are wearing make-up at younger ages, hair extensions are common and parents are presenting their teenagers with plastic surgery for their birthdays or graduation.  We are teaching our girls young, that their outer beauty makes them who they are in life. Now society wonders how we're creating young women with eating disorders, body image issues and a complete lack of self confidence.  Those that don't subscribe to the above mentioned procedures can't keep up!

As I already mentioned, I'm not criticizing anyone for taking part in any of these procedures.  After all, I wear make-up and color my gray hair.  However, I have tried my best to keep the appearance God gave me when He created me.  It's a choice I've made because I want my daughters to find their inner beauty above anything external.  I want them to develop Godly lives that strive to be more like Christ than the latest celebrity. 

Wouldn't it be great if the next time we, or our children, looked at someone and wished we looked like that, we'd see our own inner beauty and find that to be more beautiful?  After all, reality isn't what we see, it's what we don't see, it's the confidence that comes from within that really matters, not what can be created by man.

Will the Real Celebrity Please Stand Up?

I don't watch celebrity awards shows too much anymore.  In my younger years, I wouldn't miss I minute of them.  As I've gotten older, became part of the workforce and realized just how hard it is to earn money, the harder it is for me to grasp why celebrities are paid such ridiculous salaries and then celebrate themselves with awards.  Don't get me wrong, I realize for most actors, they had to work very hard to get where they are and they do have hectic schedules, but does their salary truly measure up equally to the work performed?  I just can't help compare them to the American Soldier.  Our military, especially those deployed, work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, often for weeks without showers and a good warm meal.  They don't have fancy trailers to retreat to and catered meals at the work site.  They are thousands of miles away from their families for months, sometimes over a year at a time.  For many, they have children they don't get to see born, celebrate birthdays with, walk them to school on their first day, etc.  For every soldier, there's a family member at home, holding down the fort, worrying if they'll ever see their loved one again.  They don't have the privilege of on-set nannies to care for their children while they work.  The hardest part to grasp out of all of this, is that their salary in a year easily equals a one day shopping trip of the high paid actor.  Actors get praised by the public and their peers in articles, news programs and awards shows.  Our military faces harsh criticism by some and return home sometimes to protests.   How does this seem remotely fair? 

It's easy to think about our military in times of national crisis, but the true sacrifices they make year round are hardly noticed by most of the population.  Whether you agree or not with the orders they've been given by our government, they themselves deserve praise by every citizen in the United States.  They have chosen to work hard, physically and emotionally draining and extremely dangerous jobs to protect the freedom of this country.

Although I've always appreciated the incredible sacrifice of the American Soldier, never did it hit so close to home as it did on May 28, 2007.  That particular year, May 28th was Memorial Day.  My husband's friend since childhood, Staff Sgt. Thomas McFall, was killed in Iraq when an explosive detonated nearby during a dismounted patrol in Baghdad.  He left behind a wife and 3 children.  At his service, I sat behind his wife as she held their toddler daughter and their two sons sat by her side.  I couldn't begin to imagine what the road ahead of her would look like.  They were a military family, made little money and now had a short period of time to vacate their home on the military base, find a new home and figure out how to raise their kids as a single mother.  That family and the thousands like her and every member of the military are TRUE CELEBRITIES in my eyes!

I wish Hollywood celebrated our military. What an incredible event it would be to see our American Soldiers as the presenters and seat fillers at the Emmy Award Ceremony 2013.  I would love to see our service women and military wives dressed by the top designers and draped with millions of dollars in borrowed jewels.  If this happened, I for sure, would watch every second of the Emmys.  I'd be willing to bet that it would have the highest viewer ratings in the history of Emmy broadcasts.

In Memory of Staff Sgt. Thomas McFall

Something To Remember

Part of being a "Perfectionist" is having everything neatly sorted and labeled.  Friends and family have often teased me about my obsession with the label maker.  Just about every room in my house (with the exception of the garage and my husband's workshop, which I gave him full reign of long ago) have totes with labels on them.  From the time my girls were born, their play area was neatly organized and they learned very early on how to put their toys away.  Every kind of toy they had, had a bin it went in and not only was it labeled with the type of toy that went in it, but it also had a picture on the bin of the toy so the girls knew where to put things away.  Now that I think about it, "Neurotic" might be a better name for me.  I am probably the only parent on this earth that would know if one block out of 50 was missing!  I'm also the opposite of a hoarder, I've been known to throw out import documents, so when I do save things, you can be certain that they're special and neatly filed in a labeled tote.

I love to sew, quilt and create things.  Our guest bedroom has had to double as my sewing/crafting area for the past 12 years we've lived in this house.  A couple of weeks ago, with my daughters now teenagers, I wondered why we still had a "Play Room" in our house.  The girls went through the room and categorized everything into three piles: keep, donate, throw away.  I guarantee you that if they chose to keep an item, it was nicely placed in a labeled tote in each of their closets in their rooms.  Their play room then became my paradise (and now when my parents or other guests stay the night, they actually get a roomier guest room).

Being the "Neurotic Perfectionist" I am, I have kept a drawer of items I needed to file with my sewing/crafting stuff.  Today, as I finally got the chance to clean out that drawer, I found a special "card" my parents gave me when I turned 40.  I need to back up 15 years, ever since my parents became "Mamaw" and "Guga," they would make special cards for each of their four granddaughters on their birthdays.  This sheet of paper always included pictures from throughout their lives and a special poem that "Guga" writes for each girl.  My sister and I only get these cards on "special birthdays."  My 40th qualified as a special birthday.  NOW, is the TRUE treasure of this blog, I want to share the card they made me for my 40th.
These pictures don't do it justice, but it's the poem that I'm most excited about sharing.

 It's been forty years since our Shawna was born,  
Her pictures show she was a cutey.
At each stage of her life she kept her good looks,
Better yet kept her great inner beauty.

In first grade she attended Magnolia School,
Was quite shy in her cute little way.
In fourth grade at Valencia a switch must have flipped,
She was hard to suppress, we must say.

At Pioneer she was a popular girl,
A good student and leader worth praising.
Then high school the usual highs and the lows,
But her trust in her God was amazing.

Shawna worked hard through her college years,
Went to school, held down jobs, served the Lord.
And "All things work out for the good," it is said,
Meeting John on the job, her reward.

First Kiley, then Makenna were born to the Moores,
They both are a grandparents treat.
And also the dogs and cats filled the house,
Goat and horse and much more up the street.

A constant for Shawna through most of her life,
Has been Stacia a friend link no other.
Through the ups and the downs, the thicks and thins,
They have always supported each other.

Shawna is faithful to serve where she can,
Guatemala and Kenya she blessed.
She'll continue to give and support those in need,
May the next forty years be her best.

I'm so thankful for this treasure, which is not in a labeled tote in a closet, but hanging on my magnetic board above my sewing area.

Was That Last Year?

Here I am, nearly a year since my last post, with a laundry list of reasons I haven't blogged during this time. These include: Makenna (now 13) has water polo practice nearly every day of the week with tournaments nearly every weekend, Kiley (now 15) still has the horse that we must attend to everyday, I've been fighting to get my health back after being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, my best friend/sister/a literal piece of me is battling stage 4 cancer and I've been at her side for almost every treatment and surgery. We've done a few "bucket list" trips, including Las Vegas, New York City and Seattle to visit her family. Then you add in Jr. Olympics for Makenna, Kiley attending the second best rated high school in Southern California and my life is a bit CHAOTIC! The biggest reason I've neglected my blog though, is that it's not on my list of top priorities. I have this disease I've aptly named "Perfectionism." If I can't give my best to something, then I don't do it. As much as I say I shouldn't care of what people think of my blog, I really do. If I can't write the perfect summary of what's happening in my life or what's on my mind, then I just don't write....which is bad since this blog is really about my family and me and something that we can all look back on and remember. Perhaps someday my great, great grandchildren will get a glimpse of who I am through the things that I've written. However, I'm sure technology will be way beyond blogging by the time they are born! I have been writing privately though, more like journaling my journey with my above mentioned sister-friend. I call her that because she's more than a friend, we're close like sisters. We grew up together, in fact, I even had my own bedroom in her house growing up! She's been beside me through the trauma, the joys, the bumps in the road and the many exciting things life has brought our way. That journal is for us only, therefore, you won't ever find it on my blog. I may share, publicly, some of our adventures together, but the deep stuff is for the private journal only. In order to conquer my disease of "Perfectionism," and to get me writing again, I've decided my blogging will now become short paragraphs of little thoughts or moments I want to share. Sometimes I might not write anything at all and just post a picture. Please join me as I make an attempt at this new blogging journey. For those of you that followed my other blog, http://fortheloveofmygirls.blogspot.com/, I haven't posted on that for 2.5 years. I decided long ago to simplify my life and just keep one blog. I am, however, not taking that blog down as it is what it's called, "For the Love of my Girls" and I want them to be able to have access to it if they ever want to laugh at the words of wisdom I tried to leave for them. Until next time, I'm leaving you with a few pictures of events from the last year.

 Candid moment between Kiley & Dot

 Kiley Riding Dot

 Makenna at Jr. Olympics

 Her Team Placed 6th in the Nation!

 Stacia & I in NYC at the WTC Memorial