Saying Goodbye to Grandpa

My Grandpa Jake lead quite an interesting life. The stories that compile his life would make for an interesting read. He was born Dec. 27, 1915 into a "Conservative Mennonite" or "Old Order Mennonite" family. If that brings to mind the people you see at your local Mennonite Church, you're probably way off. I'm talking Pennsylvania Dutch speaking, horse and buggy, no electricity, plain folk Mennonite. In fact, to the untrained eye, a person driving through Lancaster County, Pennsylvania probably wouldn't be able to distinguish the difference between them and the Amish. They left "the Order" when my mom was a young girl, for reasons that I've never really been certain, but needless to say, he didn't live your "typical" life. He has lots of stories about his strict upbringing, his mean grandma and what it was like growing up Mennonite.

He's always been a private man, so I didn't know much about him until his later years. My grandmother, the complete opposite, was such a prominant figure in my life growing up, but Grandpa, well, "private" just seems the perfect word to describe him. All of that changed 5 years ago though when my grandmother suddenly passed away. Since he was under the care of my grandmother, he suddenly found himself dependant on his children and grandchildren, something I don't think any of us saw coming. In a matter of days, he went from living independantly with his loving wife in the desert to moving into an Assisted Living Facility in Orange County. Over the next 5 years, he began building strong relationships with not only his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but even got in contact with siblings that he hadn't spoken to, in some cases, decades.

It's been a special 5 years with Grandpa. He loved when I would bring the kids to visit, espcially my daughter, Makenna, as he felt a special bond with her since she was born on his birthday (which was also his father's birthday). In fact, she was the only great-grandchild that he sent money to when she was born....$2. That may not sound like much to you, but that was a big deal coming from Grandpa! Kiley, with her love of horses, loved hearing about his childhood horse, Dolly and we all enjoyed the stories he would tell about hiding from his grandparents in the barn. He especially loved my husband, John, and loved to hear his work stories. We even heard him say, "I love you" as we would leave from a visit, something we had never heard from him before.

On September 2nd, Grandpa went home to be with the Lord. We all knew he was in his final days and all of his kids and most of his grandkids and great-grandkids were at his bedside in the days leading up to his death. Most important to Grandpa, his son, my Uncle John, was there. Uncle John is quite a bit younger than my mom and her sisters and while my uncle was growing up, my grandfather was living in the desert away from his wife and son due to health reasons. Uncle John and my Aunt Janet were his primary caretakers after Grandma's death and they built a special relationship, the relationship of a father and son that my uncle never knew. It was only appropriate that when my grandfather took his final breath, it was his son at his side, holding his hand as he entered into Heaven.

The following was written to me by my Aunt Janet in an email after Grandpa's death and I find it so touching that I've decided to include it in my blog (with her permission, of course):

"You could see that he was going between two worlds. While he wasn't in any pain, it would seem he would get peaceful and then be pulled back to consciousness. It seemed that while he tried to let go, something brought him back. At times he seemed surprised to see us, in fact one time he snapped open his eyes and saw John and said,"Oh it's you." He seemed confused as if he had been somewhere else and didn't expect to see John. He kept calling out "John," and John would reassure him of his presence. He wanted to hold John's hand a lot. You could tell it comforted him to know John was there. Then one time he called out to him and turned and looked at him and said "I love you" and reached for his hand again. We knew then that he realized that he was dying and we began to sob and told him to go home. Then he looked up at John and said, "Can I follow the light?" and John told him to go ahead and follow the light. Grandpa became very peaceful and we thought this is it, but all of a sudden he came to and at the same time said "no." I think he realized that his body as it relaxed was letting go of everything. From that point on he seemed very ill at ease. After that, he never regained consciousness, was very peaceful and soon after he was gone. It is so hard to believe that it happened so quickly. Hospice was surprised too, especially that he communicated to us up to the end. That is unusual. But it was nice to be able to share his final moments with him alone and know that he went home."

I love you Grandpa and you will live on in my heart until we'll together again.

Grandpa with some of his great-granchildren at Grandma's memorial